Death to Teddy Bears

These 17 Valentine gifts are actually cool

By Giannis Katsinis and Eleni Zoe
Punch those teddy bears in their faces. You know you want to. And while you’re at it, throw away all the roses, lingerie and chocolates (okay, maybe keep some of the chocolates). We scouted Etsy to bring you Valentine’s gifts that are actually cool — no matter your relationship status.

For Kinda-Sorta Dating

It’s not that complicated

You’re 88.4 percent certain you’ll be spending V-Day together. The challenge: Give a non-lame gift when you’re still getting to know someone. Better go for small and subtle.

Shea Body Butter, Shea Yeleen

Shea Body Butter

Made with 20-percent natural shea butter, this Lavender and Honeysuckle handmade body butter kills two birds with one stone: it's a tad intimate (because, body butter) but it's also so packed with vitamins that will immediately smooth any skin. So you can claim you only have their best interests at heart.

$19 from SheaYeleen

Furoshiki, TheLinkCollective

Japanese Scarf

Oh whimsy, thy name is Furoshiki. This 100-percent cotton Japanese wrapping cloth doubles as a scarf, with a beautiful cherry-blossom design on a midnight blue background . And yes, she’ll think of you every time she wraps up in it.

$48 from TheLinkCollective

Beard Oil, HartandHawthorn

Beard Oil

Blossoming relationships need all the help they can get. Opt to get your guy beard oil made with argan, jojoba and babassu oils: It will soften his beard (later, kissing rashes!) and moisturize his skin. Make-out session saved.

$14 from HartandHawthorn

For BFFs

Friends don’t leave friends giftless

She’s the Max to your Caroline, the Rachel to your Monica to your Phoebe. So don’t forget to pick up a little something for the girl (or girls) who has your back.

Wild at Heart Poster, Congostudio

Wild at Heart Poster

Is there a better way to remind your bestie that her heart, even if it’s been bruised, is still young and free? Nope, didn’t think so.

$37.10 from Congostudio

Throw Pillow, cottonandflaxshop

Throw Pillow

You’ve watched Scandal on her couch and probably spilled red wine on her favorite throw pillow. Replace it with this unique, patterned patchwork darling. Its fabrics are printed with the designer’s own illustrations. One-of-kind: just like her.

$150 from cottonandflaxshop

Vase Figurines, EarthSeaWarrior

Vase Figurines

Is she the queen of off-color remarks? Loves to giggle at inappropriate times? Then she’ll be delighted by this set of tush-bearing figurines. Stick in a bouquet of flowers, and you’ll be in the running for best friend of the year.

$60 from EarthSeaWarrior

For Facebook Official

Hey, if it’s on social media...

First Valentine’s Day together? Before you start quoting Shakespeare or reciting poetry, remember this: Those who buy into clichés become clichés. Sophistication is your friend.

Stainless Steel Cut Map, CutMaps

Stainless Steel Cut Map

These maps of major cities come ready to hang and say, “I’m happy with the way things are.” No-pressure Valentine’s Day gift scored.

$30 from CutMaps

Weekend Duffel, TM1985

Weekend Duffel

Get him this stylish duffel bag, handmade with leather and canvas. Plan your next trip away together. May we suggest a perfect weekend in Paris?

$371, from TM1985

Rope Necklace, Kvalwasser

Rope Necklace

Thinking of presenting her with a little blue box? Whoa there, lover. Baby steps. Instead, opt for this distinctive rope necklace from Tel Aviv. Handmade with Japanese glass beads and inspired by the colors of a Kandinsky painting, it will take her breath away.

$150, from Kvalwasser

For the Ball and Chain

Home is where you watch Netflix together

This may be your umpteenth Valentine’s Day as a couple, but that doesn’t mean you should phone it in. Take it up a notch with gifts that are good enough to share.

Ottoman Tray, BlisscraftandBrazen

Ottoman Tray

How does that Stevie Wonder song go? “My cherie amour?” More like my cherry wood ottoman tray. If lounging together is one of your favorite couple activities, then this tray with leather handles and brass hardware will make you feel like your go-to seat — aka the couch — got a chic makeover.

$104.19 from BlisscraftandBrazen

Leather Camera Strap, TAPandDYE

Leather Camera Strap

Sure, sometimes you feel like you’re competing with his Canon for his attention. But, as the saying goes, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” — or, at least, let him keep his camera close. He’ll love this leather camera strap on a long day of shooting. Bonus: His hands will be free to call you.

$85 from TAPandDYE

Thorns Stacking Rings, jewelryMirta

Thorns Stacking Rings

You like her? Well, put a few rings on her fingers. We love this set of three minimalist, edgy stacking rings in sterling silver — ideal for the woman who usually goes to anti-Valentine’s Day parties. This gift won’t bother her too much. We’re sure of it.

$80 from jewelryMirta

For the Free Agent

Alone, not lonely

Valentine’s Day has a way of bringing even the happiest single people down. This year, celebrate your solitude and general awesomeness by treating yourself.

Bath Caddy, BlisscraftandBrazen

Bath Caddy

Your bath time just got an upgrade. Splurge on this wooden bath caddy, which will fit a book, a glass of wine (or bourbon) and a candle. But not your mobile phone. Remember: Bath time is you time.

$100.96 by BlisscraftandBrazen

Sea Salt & Lavender Candle in Frosted Glass, FormularyFiftyFive

Sea Salt & Lavender Candle in Frosted Glass

Pair the bath caddy with this luxurious sea salt-and-lavender candle. The ocean smell will remind you of that long-forgotten summer romance. Sigh.

$24 by FormularyFiftyFive

Knit Sweater, THEKNITKID

Knit Sweater

No one puts Baby in a corner — and with this neon knit sweater, you’ll stay warm and stand out, no question. Handmade by Berlin designer Sabrina Weigt, it’s a knockout piece made to be noticed.

$347.83 by THEKNITKID

Ioannis Katsinis is an art director and design aficionado based in Athens. His vices consist of Y-3 sneakers, vintage collectibles and poker nights with friends & Laphroaig whisky. See his work on or follow him on Etsy