Not many places have as hedonistic a heritage as Berlin. Sometimes, though, even in the epicenter of random fun, comes the opportunity to link up with someone special. Although no two unique little snowflakes are exactly alike, it's worth pointing out a few of the most consistent characters you may encounter while negotiating the dating blizzard that is our city. Whether on Valentine's Day or any time of year, here are the Berliners that you're most likely to end up on a date with.

 

The Architect

Kraftwerk Berlin by Ralph Larmann via Website


The Architect is the type to get right to the heart of life’s greatest moments. Pragmatic, blunt, sexy and even a little bit insane, Architects love to be at the forefront of life’s wilder side while also deeply appreciating the complexity of their partners. These brilliant beings also have an uncanny affinity for heavy smoking and imbibing. Be wary, though: They’re just as likely to outdrink you as they are to outsmart you.

What to talk about: Design, drinks and more design.
What not to talk about: Engineers. Engineers are the people who destroy their dreams. 
Ideal date spot: Any random event in a repurposed building with cocktails. 
 

The Art Student

One day they may be a photographer. The next, they might be a Buddhist. But that’s what we love about the most endearing of our Art Students: They’re always open to new ideas, they consistently come up with something inspiring to say and they are at least as interesting as they are broke. But that rarely matters. When you’re as resourceful as one of these rebels, you’re unlikely to ever have a dull moment. 

What to talk about: Concepts, ideas, theoreticals, anything abstract. 
What not to talk about: Math and numbers, especially their bank balance. 
Ideal date spot: A gallery, of course.

 

The Punk

Photo by Yavannna


Outlandish, intellectual, emotionally irreverent and irrepressibly clever, The Punks are the ones who remind you of all the things worth resisting. Never quite at ease yet also never a bore, The Punk is an intense type who is going to challenge you (and everyone else around them). Their brashness might be too hardcore for some, but others will be energized by their enthusiasm — and appreciate their weirdly embroidered outfits.

What to talk about: Bands like The Clash, Gang of Four, The Sex Pistols and Black Flag. 
What not to talk about: Any element of capitalism that you might currently be enjoying. 
Ideal date spot: An edgy place with some historic punk rock paraphernalia. Try the Ramones Museum.
 

The Club Rat

Everybody knows at least one Club Rat. They’re the types willing to wait in line for two hours if it means getting to see their favorite DJ. Club Rats have one thing on their mind, and that’s being wherever the other cool guys are. They have a knack for finding everything in town … everything, that is, except their own keys when they’re waddling home in the wee hours of the morning. If you find yourself falling for one of these creatures of the night, we can only hope that you hate sleep as much as they do. 

What to talk about: Cool clubs that they haven't been to yet.
What not to talk about: How you're such a morning person.
Ideal date spot: Any venue between Ostkreuz and Warschauer Straße. 
 

The Activist

Über den Tellerrand kochen via Facebook


The Activist is always angry at the system, but never at you. They’ll place a Karl Marx banner in front of their grandma’s flat, and they’ll also be enthusiastic enough to invite you to all of their favorite protests. They’re the ones who told you all about TTIP (really, though, Google that because it is messed up), and they’re also likely to have a deep, self-determined code of morality. Get ready to have your Facebook newsfeed forever flooded by posts from this social justice warrior.

What to talk about: Just ask their opinion on any international crisis, culture war or social calamity. 
What not to talk about: Donald Trump.
Ideal date spot: Somewhere that's all about charity, community and helping others.
 

The Startup Guru

The Startup Gurus are going to change the world for the better with the help of technology. But you already knew that from their Tinder profile. You may hate them for constantly encouraging you to learn Java or love them for fixing your MacBook, but you know they always mean well. Maybe it’s their nerdy charm. Maybe it’s their affinity for bringing Palo Alto business models to Brandenburg. Whatever it is, they’re certainly the only people in town regularly ironing their shirts.

What to talk about: Apps that they feel could've been built better. 
What not to talk about: Steve Jobs (unless you'd like to hear his life story). 
Ideal date spot: Beta Breakfast. They should feel comfortable there.
 

The Expat Musician

Photo by Pawel Bukowski


Do they have a visa? No one really knows. All that’s certain is that they have as many gigs outside the Schengen zone as they do in Germany. Everybody loves a capriciously cool Expat Musician, even if they’re as likely to sweep you off your feet as they are to forget that they made dinner plans. Whether a DJ, a rocker or a sucker for synthesizers, Expat Musicians are the types to take you everywhere, but have no real plans for the future. One best learn to either live in the moment or move on.

What to talk about: The astonishing fact that Keith Richards is still alive. 
What not to talk about: The desire to maybe one day have children.  
Ideal date spot: Wherever their next concert happens to be. 
 

Le French

In Allemagne, one rarely sees French people in large numbers outside of Berlin. Maybe it's because they feel more comfortable in an international city. Or maybe they just relish 2010s Berlin as another attempt at re-creating 1920s Paris (at least as far as rent is concerned). Whatever it is, the Frenchies are the types to always have a few surreal stories, and are utterly unapologetic about their feelings. They might not be as utilitarian as your typical German, but that’s often the best part about them. These open-minded rule-breakers will excite the ambitions of any adventurer and torture the routine of any neat freak.    

What to talk about: Wine, art and the sexually repressed nature of the English-speaking world. 
What not to talk about: France's decisive role in the Second World War. 
Ideal date spot: Their favorite French store. 

By Jesse Van Mouwerik

Berlin-based illustrator and columnist Jesse Van Mouwerik is an avid fan of art, whisky sours and being alive. When the aliens land, he will draw them a picture.